Last week Mike and I had the honor of being interviewed by channel 4 news in order to spotlight infertility in Utah. We were given this opportunity thanks to my friend Mary, who has been following my blog and our story since I opened up about our journey. I am pretty open about our struggles, as you all know, but I was still nervous to talk about it on a news broadcast and share our story with the entire Salt Lake Valley. Anytime you bear your soul, it’s nerve-racking and you never know what the response of others will be. I feel very blessed that everyone around us was incredibly supportive and I wanted to thanks all the strangers out there who saw us on channel 4 and sent their love, stories and encouragement. It really meant a lot to know we are not in this roller coaster of a ride alone and that we have so much support and wonderful people behind us. I loved receiving all of your messages about your success stories, your own hardships and knowing that we are not the only couple out there experiencing these feelings and living day to day with a hole in our hearts and a wound in our chest. Knowing there are others out there who have gone through this pain and succeeded, or who are still enduring it and are willing to be a support, makes this heartbreak just a little easier to bear and we truly appreciate everyone’s kind words. Below is our interview, as well as another clip about infertility support here in Utah.
Infertility in Utah
Infertility Support in Utah
Unfortunately, we were greeted with some negative feedback, which made me really sad. We were criticized because we haven’t been trying long enough, and therefore have not suffered enough, and were also told we were selfish because we wanted to have our own child instead of adopting. These kind of comments are what make the infertility struggle so lonely and taboo, because the people who should understand the most and be there for other infertile couples are some of the people who are the harshest. I can’t even BEGIN to imagine the pain and financial hardship one goes through who has been trying 5, 10 or even 15 years and it was something we discussed in the interview that didn’t air. My heart and prayers truly go out to each and everyone who wants a child and who is given this awful reality and it isn’t something I would ever wish upon my worst enemy. It’s a traumatic, exhausting, isolating, painful, scary and extremely lonely experience and it can destroy many aspects of your life, both emotionally and physically. I know we haven’t been trying as long as some couples and that we are still in the early stages of treatment but our two years of heartbreak feels like a lifetime to me and our pain is just as real.
Infertility in Utah
Infertility Support in Utah
Unfortunately, we were greeted with some negative feedback, which made me really sad. We were criticized because we haven’t been trying long enough, and therefore have not suffered enough, and were also told we were selfish because we wanted to have our own child instead of adopting. These kind of comments are what make the infertility struggle so lonely and taboo, because the people who should understand the most and be there for other infertile couples are some of the people who are the harshest. I can’t even BEGIN to imagine the pain and financial hardship one goes through who has been trying 5, 10 or even 15 years and it was something we discussed in the interview that didn’t air. My heart and prayers truly go out to each and everyone who wants a child and who is given this awful reality and it isn’t something I would ever wish upon my worst enemy. It’s a traumatic, exhausting, isolating, painful, scary and extremely lonely experience and it can destroy many aspects of your life, both emotionally and physically. I know we haven’t been trying as long as some couples and that we are still in the early stages of treatment but our two years of heartbreak feels like a lifetime to me and our pain is just as real.
Sorry for my soapbox, it just really bothered me that people can judge others so quickly without really knowing their story because we should all be willing to be there for others no matter what. I hope everyone can take something away from this post and that everyone who is currently going through this incredibly difficult experience, whether it has been 3 months or 10 years, gets their miracle soon. I know in my heart of hearts this experience has made Mike and I better people, will make us better parents, has strengthened our marriage and is happening for a reason. I just think it’s going to take patience to see what that reason is.
Again, thanks to each of you for all of your support, love, comments and for reading our blog. We couldn’t get through this without you and I look forward to getting to know all of you who have shared your own story. Please don’t hesitate to email me at LaurenNRicci@gmail.com or leave a comment if you wish. I love hearing from you!
This wait will soon end and “what isn’t today might be tomorrow”. At least that’s what I keep telling myself…
2 comments:
I think you are so strong telling your story! I still am hesitant for telling some people. I had my first app. yesterday at the U. They are so nice there! I know its going to happen for you and I just comes when we least expect it! Ps you should go see the doctors at the U they all are very nice! What i saw.
I saw your news clip posted on ldsinfertility.org. i was very impressed with how courageous you were in telling your story. this is such a difficult journey to be going through. my wife and i are in the middle of it and IT SUCKS!! i'm sorry you got negative feedback from the news stuff too, that is ridiculous! sometimes people are just idiots. you should check out my wife's blog, she's been posting a little bit about our story on there. (www.callmekristin.com) us infertiles got to stick together! also, we've been gong to the RCC in Sandy, but recently took a different route and visited with a homeopathic doctor in Orem. His name is Dr. Johnson. He gave my wife some things that really REALLY helped her system. might be worth looking into.....keep your heads high! the sun will always rise. :)
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