and Now We Wait...

I swear, the two week waiting game is the most difficult part of this whole process because everything is completely out of your control now. When you first begin your cycle, you begin taking your pills, you track everything, and you know you are starting the whole infertility process over. Then you make it to day 10 and have the “trying” to focus on. When day 21 hits though, all you can do is wait. I have found this is the time when my hope really builds as I start noticing any change my body makes, read into everything that could be construed as a sign of pregnancy and start thinking of how I will react, which friends I will confide in and how I will tell Mike if it is finally the month that my test is positive. I can’t tell you how many tests I have taken during this two week period and how many times my heart has been broken by yet another negative. It is exhausting and nerve-racking and in my case, has only ever ended in devastation. My new favorite website and support center www.resolve.org has some helpful tips on their website for “Surviving the Two Week Wait”. Here they are…

Emotional Coping Strategies
• Limit the number of people you tell about your cycle and let them know how you will share the outcome of the cycle. Some couples tell their family and friends, "No news is bad news," to eliminate the need to call them with bad news.
• Decide in advance how you will handle questions from those you have told. Sometimes it helps to rehearse your responses.
• Decide with your partner how you want to receive the news about the cycle. For example, if you are having a blood test to determine if you are pregnant, decide where and to whom the results should be given. Some women want their husband's to give them the news, whether it is good or bad, versus hearing a message on the answering machine.
• Set time aside to talk with your partner about your feelings.
• Tell your partner what you will need if the news is not positive. Do you want to be distracted and go out to eat or to a movie, or do you want to be left alone? Do you want to talk about the next steps in treatment or options, or wait a few days? Give your partner specifics on this- he can't read your mind.
• Treat yourself by spending time doing the things you enjoy the most: preparing a wonderful meal, taking long walks or curling up and reading a good book.
• Protect yourself emotionally. For example, don't plan on going to a dinner party given by a pregnant friend the day you expect to get your pregnancy test results.
• Take slow, deep breaths when you are feeling anxious. This basic technique can assist you physiologically, as well as being mentally calming.
• Try reframing your thoughts. This is very helpful when you are experiencing negative thoughts or if your thoughts are driving you crazy by alternating between thinking you are or aren't pregnant. For example, the thought "The test will be negative and I'll never be pregnant," may end up as "I am open to the possibility of being pregnant and I'm doing everything I can to make that happen."

Who knew a 28 cycle (or in my case a 35 day cycle) could have such an effect on your life! Patience truly is the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn.