Blogstalking Welcome!

This blog is very personal but part of the reason I decided to write it is because I know there are so many people out there who are dealing with the same thoughts, emotions and pain. I have always been an open book when it comes to difficult things because I have always dealt with things better if I can get them off my chest. Even after my dad died, I was always open about the fact that he committed suicide, what his last words to me were and how I felt about his decision. While his death was the moment that changed my life forever and is still hard to understand, I didn't make him choose to take his own life and I couldn't have stopped him. His death was not my fault and me making excuses for him or not talking about what really happened doesn't do anything but hurt me more. (sorry about the tangent)

Anyway, at first I was embarassed about the fact I wasn't getting pregnant on my own, but now I realize it's nothing to be ashamed of and it's nothing I can control. If I had cancer or any other sort of disease, I would be open about that because I would want and need the support of family and friends. While infertility isn't life-threatening, it is emotionally draining, extremely lonely and painful and I wish it wasn't such a taboo subject.

So, I welcome any and all blogstalkers to share in our journey. I would love to know who reads this blog and completely appreciate comments, suggestions and personal stories from others going that are either going through the same thing, or know someone who is. If you want to ask me personal questions or don't want to comment on my blog, you can always email me at Lauren.Ricci@fmr.com. I loved getting comments from tons of different people when I initially opened up about my fertility problems and realizing how many others were facing these same circumstances. It helped validate my emotions and I felt so humbled that I wasn't alone in this struggle.

I hope you all enjoy reading this and can take something away from it. This blog isn't here to make you feel sorry for me or to have a personal pity party, it's to share my thoughts and document how I feel, while hopefully helping others. Support is always the best kind of therapy!

I leave you with this passage from another woman who is struggling with infertility...

When others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.